The roots of stigma and silence within the special operations community can be traced back to the very creation and need for these elite organizations. Our country desired specialized forces to carry out the most extremely sensitive, high-profile missions that would ensure a certainty of victory through absolute secrecy in some of the most austere hostile environments in the world. Our country’s statesmen knew during WWII that in order for the US to remain a global political and economic powerhouse, we needed to carve out a group of innovative and fearless men. Men that could shoulder the highest levels of pressure, stress and responsibility without regard of self-preservation. To accomplish US goals, objectives and strategies with little to no guidance, resources or support.
We had to identify and determine the roles and responsibilities required in order to find the solution- which became the characteristics and attributes that would shape the parameters or outline of the special operations communities. Find men that can stare into the abyss of adversity without doubt of fear but rather an unwavering drive to win.
The art of psychology creates a foundational imprint to establish the culture of the elite forces. Starting with the establishment of ideologies such as mottos, creeds, ethos that are recited at every gathering. These ideologies fully embody the character an operator lives and dies by - “Theirs not to make reply, theirs not to reason why, theirs but to do and die. Into the valley of death rode the six hundred.” Through trial and error, “the algorithm” was coded and gave birth to a social engineered, mental and physical traumatic process better known as the selection process.
The selection process is like writing a resume for a job offer- do you have what it takes? This is where the precedent for the culture of the elite is set. Intentionally deprived of sleep and food while continuously engulfed in mental and physical stress inoculation, testing to see how far and how much you can take. Heavy dosing of subliminal psychological chess, affirmations, and ideologies of patriotism are etched within. This selection process is based on decades, even centuries of foundational discipline practice.
The next phase is “the interview.” Depending on the branch of special operations determines the length of time the interview takes. In this phase, you are now among those that were tested and had “the resume” to continue. Every day you are being assessed not only to get the job offer but also by your peers. Peer evaluation can cause you to be dismissed. The first among the dismissed are the weak- either physically or mentally; followed by those that put self before others. This timeframe will mold your reputation that will precede you to the gates of the SOF community and your future within it.
As an operator you are expected, rather required to always perform all tasks above standards without excuse and without accolades. Servitude without self-pity, an unhealthy feeling of guilt within yourself should you put yourself first. Always having to be switched on no matter who the audience or the environment. These are the responsibilities that have been bestowed upon you from the bravery and gravesites of men that took the oath before you. This is why operators stay silent. It's never easy to be vulnerable and speak of your deficiencies. There is an overwhelming fear that if you show weakness of any type, you will be removed from the team or the community- you no longer fit the mold or the reputation and have forfeited your right to be there.
Think of your favorite hero or celebrity that you admire. What if you one day they were out around a crowd of people and displayed in words of actions deficiencies in appearance or mental/emotional stability? Your thoughts of them would shift to finding a new hero. An iconic example familiar to most- Will Smith, long-time favored actor who had a moment of weakness. He slaps Chris Rock across the face on global television followed by profanities. He was immediately banned from attending the event for 10 years and faced incredible scrutiny and lost future opportunities. “You either die the hero or you live long enough to become the villain.”
Earning the right to be among SOF does not stop after passing the selection process, “the resume” or “the interview.” Those processes simply provided you with the front gate code into the SOF community. Now it’s up to you to perform and earn your right every day and maintain that right to be there - swimming amongst the sharks.
The operational tempo creates the culture and lifestyle that doesn’t allow for a moment of weakness. The green machine will keep turning whether you are there or not. We are all expendable and replaceable. The new generation will continue to challenge the old- looking for strong leadership, mentorship and guidance. They will parakeet the rumors, stories, and mystique identity- the pedestal of what defines an elite operator or warrior.
To truly understand the suffering in silence within the SOF community, it recalls a more recent image that depicts the true nature of the men selected for these organizations. Myself and my Special Forces Operational Detachment – Alpha, SFOD-A, were invited to stand on the sidelines for military appreciation night. I had already relinquished command of the team, so I decided to sit in the stands while the team stood on the sidelines. The nostalgia of the Friday night lights did not disappoint. The game started with a bit of wind and chillness in the air but shortly ensued a complete downpour of what could be described as monsoon-style heavy rain paired with bone-chilling temperatures and piercing wind that would leave all in attendance in a complete survival mindset. Fans, players and coaches immediately sought whatever shelter and warmth they could find. On the sidelines stood a large canopy that provided shelter from the heavy rain. However, I sat in the stands and observed the members of my team stand stone faced with minimal clothing and soaking wet unphased next to the canopy which had plenty of room for them to seek shelter from the elements. They knew they were on display for all those in attendance and although no one would have cast judgement on them for seeking shelter on that canopy; they simply stood there, in silence, soaking wet while holding back the uncontrollable shivers on a human body’s natural response to such circumstances. The fans around me buried in their winter coats, blankets, ponchos and umbrellas inquired as to why these men were standing there in the amid the storm next to a place of shelter and how they were not freezing. I simply responded, “they are all cold, wet and miserable internally but they refuse display any sort of weakness amongst one another and anyone in attendance. They will only seek shelter if their leader initiates.” I will never forget the look of disbelief and astonishment of the fans’ faces after my response. How these men, with no mission, no objective or live or death situation would subject themselves to such misery with nothing to gain in a normal everyday lifestyle. This is the very essence of what it means to suffer in silence and attest to the true caliber of men in these organizations.
The consequences of being vulnerable far outweigh the internal struggles and stressors of daily life. This has been identified time and time again. As human nature, we should have the moral compass to help those that are struggling. The military takes decisive action with logic and pushing emotions to the side. The cost of being vulnerable most typically results in you indirectly being pushed aside and can be viewed as a punishment. If an operator opens up and speaks of his struggles he is usually taken away from his team, unit and place among supporting members of the unit that are assigned a position based on the needs of the military. These supporting members of the organization did not have to go through a selection process to earn the right to be there, generally they are simply assigned to fill a position. Leaders of these organizations, with the best intentions, wish to help an operator in need by allowing them to take a knee by placing them in less demanding roles among these supporting members, however what they are asking is for a lion to graze within a pack of gazelles. Here is where an operator is misunderstood; he loses direction and purpose of all that he knew and went through to be a part of the SOF community- the algorithm or code of his identity. Due to these historical outcomes, is why they suffer in silence to remain in the brotherhood and walk among the lions that have all earned the right to be there.
As a new generation of leaders, we need to rebrand the stigmas. We need to be transparent and look under the veil to allow these operators within the ranks of these specialized units to be more open to no longer suffer in silence. A reframed deliberate process of assessing the mental, physical and spiritual throughout the formations. When you purchase a new car, it serves the purpose as a means of transportation. Taking you from your starting point to your destination, however, it still requires maintenance. If you don’t pause to fill it with fuel, change the oil, rotate the tires and resent the electronic memory- it will break down and become an empty vessel that can no longer serve its purpose. “Life will keep lifeing” in and outside of the SOF communities. We only have a limited number of days on this earth- we all have an expiration date. We need to ensure that we continue to support these communities beyond the uniform and educate those outside of the community. The number of times speaking outside of the organization I get asked the questions: “How many deployments have you been on? How many men have you killed? Who would win between a Navy Seal, Ranger and Green Beret?” I simply smile and politely respond with what you see in Hollywood movies is about 10% of the actual job. It is a fine line to keep the mystique alive as it provides advertisements and is what assists these communities in recruiting the next generation of warriors. It also psychologically insights a “boogyman” fear to our current and future enemies to consider in future armed conflict.
Suffering in silence is the monster that we created whether directly or indirectly. The parameters and framework were based on opinions of a few in a time of need, during WWII. I believe these men had focus on the future prosperity and security for our country, however the decades of war and modernizations of warfare have continually illustrated the true costs of stigmas within SOF communities depicted by the continually increasing suicide and divorce rates. It is up to us to reshape the perspectives and perceptions of these SOF communities- “the people crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”- Steve Jobs.